Day 33: The Birthday Blog

Today, I am officially in my thirties. Thirty itself seemed like a comforting age. It was sort of a new horizon for me. Now that I'm 31 I'm stoked. I know a lot of people have a hard time being in their thirties. It's sort of like waving goodbye to your youth for a lot of people. But I'm excited!

My twenties were terrible. They were full of heartbreak and confusion, stops and starts, and a lot of feeling like I had things figured out only to realize I was making life harder. If this gives you any indication of how tough those years were, I spent my 25th birthday in the hospital having a miscarriage. I remember thinking "at least I know next year will be better.

The next year I was separated from my husband. It was a long time after this that life began to finally calm down and even out.

But at this point, it has traveled so far up hill that it's hard to even recognize the life I used to live. (Was that even real? It feels so long ago and so far away.) When I was 28 I wrote a post on my old blog about things I had learned. (In so many of those instances I should have actually listened to myself!) I thought it might be fun to revisit that concept. But when I sat down to write I couldn't really think of "lessons" as much as "blessings." Maybe it's juicing euphoria. Or maybe it's because I'm just (finally!) in such a peaceful place.

I thought about writing about 31 blessings in my life, because there is so much to be thankful for. But I got through the first 3 and realized that there are so many people who are not in as good of a place as I am. Those street kids, for example. Everyone has commented on how I don't get cake on my birthday. So sad. But those kids have probably never had a birthday cake at all. I think about how I am so happy with my spouse, and then I remember at least 3 people I know right now who are not. It's so easy for me to get lost in being in my happy place, but I can't take for granted what a blessing it is to be here. So my heart is burdened for the people who are in a far more challenging time in their life. I have been there. I will likely find myself there again at some point (Lord, be merciful), and if and when that happens, I would hope someone would be praying for me.

So here is my 31st birthday prayer for any of you that might be reading this and need to feel that someone has your back.

I pray for your broken heart, that God will stitch you back together.

I pray for your fear, that a safe path will be laid before you.

I pray for your anguish, that relief will find your spirit.

I pray for your loss, that your memories will be pleasant and plentiful.

I pray for your confusion, that you will be empowered by your choices.

I pray for your hardened heart, that forgiveness will be freeing.

I pray for your loneliness, that you will experience new, fulfilling connections.

I pray for your anxiety, that you will breathe easier.

I pray for your insecurity, that you will know that you are enough.

I pray for your health, that you will be restored.

I pray for your marriage, that there will be an abundance of love and friendship.

I pray for your bondage, that you will experience breaking free.

I pray for your future, that you will have hope and peace.

I remember birthdays when I needed someone praying these prayers for me, and this year, I am blessed to be in a happy place, where I can think of nothing I really need. Happy birthday to me.

So whoever you are that needs these prayers, please know that it gets better. If I could blow out candles on a cake this year, my wish would be for you- that next year will be different,

And perhaps you'll say these prayers for someone else, because you'll be in a place where you can think of absolutely nothing you need.