Challenge

I can't say that I've ever really pushed myself. I mean, sure, finishing grad school was challenging. And the single mom thing was hard. But physically, I'm kind of a wimp. I didn't play sports in high school, so I have no mesmerizing stories of running until I puked. And until recently, I couldn't be bothered to stick with an exercise regimen for very long.

But I've been making changes lately. I started working out consistently over a month ago, and it's become part of my weekly schedule. I go to "extreme cardio" 3 times a week, and occasionally throw a yoga class in there. I'm loving it! And I'm noticing changes in my body, although not enough to be noticeable to others, because until the past week or so, I haven't been altering my diet. The extreme cardio drill sergeant's favorite saying is, "You can't train away a bad diet." So the purpose of my working out over the last month has mainly been to get in the routine, because I have most certainly not been eating right. I blame all that cake I ate for Baby Jesus.

But I also started juicing about 8 weeks ago, and while everyone (myself included) thought it would be something I would do for about a week and then give up, I absolutely love it! And then I watched the documentary "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead." (trailer) It follows a man through his 60 day juice fast, and after watching it I started considering an extended fast. Maybe I could do a weekend? A week? Surely I could do 10 days?

Yes, I want to lose weight. But this is more than that. I really want to reboot my body, and ultimately face my food demons. I have an unhealthy relationship with food that deserves some exploration, and I feel that an extended fast will connect my mind, body, and spirit in such a way as I have never before experienced. So in bed last night, I tried to wrap my brain around what that might look like.

I'm praying about doing a 44 day juice fast during Lent, which will start in late February. The Champ and I are planning a short getaway vacation that month, and the fast would start right after. Obviously I realize that you're not supposed to broadcast your Lent sacrifices. But if I choose to do this, I'll have to write about it. It's not to boast or draw attention to how awesome I am. It's because I know I'll want to quit. I'll likely fail. And blogging is a great accountability partner. Even the thought of doing it is overwhelming. It scares me, but also exhilarates me. It's the same feeling I felt on my first day of grad school, or when they wheeled me in to the operating room right before they pulled a baby from my belly. It's the feeling that something is about to change.

I haven't made any decisions about it yet. I'm gathering research and trying to figure out the pros and cons. But if there is anyone who would like to go on this journey with me, let me know! Happy juicing!